


Things you don't see every day.

by NellieOleson



Category: Stargate SG-1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2013-06-26
Packaged: 2017-12-16 05:12:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/858179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NellieOleson/pseuds/NellieOleson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I can't believe that just happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things you don't see every day.

**Author's Note:**

> Fic for the world's oddest prompt: Pb cups, ninjas, vampire bats with Leslie Nielsen faces.

It started out like most missions, standing around in the cold gate room waiting for the wormhole to form. Walter's voice echoed through the air while the gate rotated. "Chevron six encoded," it said.

"Open the pod bay doors, HAL," Colonel O'Neill muttered from Sam's left.

Sam couldn't help herself. "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that," she said in her best HAL voice. It earned her a shit-eating grin from Colonel O'Neill, and against her better judgment, she smiled back at him.

Daniel looked at them like they'd lost their minds and Colonel O'Neill cleared his throat.

It was going to be a long mission.

*****

They stepped out of the wormhole on the other side and took up defensive positions. The images the UAV had sent back suggested an unpopulated world but they weren’t taking any chances. Sometimes, the enemy was invisible or tiny. Not that their weapons would be much use against tiny, invisible enemies, but at least they could try to escape back through the gate.

General Hammond wouldn't have bothered sending a team if the UAV hadn't also sent back some grainy images of a large black monolith. Daniel had convinced him it was something interesting and possibly important. Of course, Daniel thought everything was interesting and possibly important.

Whatever it was, it was far from the stargate and they were probably looking at a two day hike just to reach it. A two day hike full of cheesy Space Odyssey jokes, no doubt.

After a brief radio message to the SGC, they set out for the interesting and possibly important object.

 

*****

Sam plodded along behind Colonel O'Neill, pausing occasionally to check for unusual energy signatures. Teal'c and Daniel brought up the rear having a one-sided conversation. Daniel liked to chat. Teal’c did not.

The sun was sinking on the horizon when they decided to stop for the night. It was a pretty sunset, full of blues and golds that weren’t common on their own world. She watched the colors bleed together while Colonel O’Neill and Teal’c set up a tent.

It’s not a very big tent and she wasn’t looking forward to being crammed in there overnight. For some reason whenever they had to camp off-world, the tent developed a gravity well in the center and they woke up entirely too close to one another. It made for some awkward mornings.

She went with Daniel to find things to burn. The temperature was starting to drop and Sam changed her mind about not want to sleep in a pile like puppies. Daniel was still being chatty. Sam did most of the gathering while he followed her around with a handful of twigs and told her all about his theories concerning the monolith.

None of them involved monkeys.

******

The bats started coming out while they were making fire.

“That’s kind of creepy,” Sam said as they swarmed overhead.

Intellectually, Sam liked bats. They were useful. They ate the mosquitoes that always seemed to think she was the tastiest person in the group. They were even kind of cute, with their little furry fox faces. Emotionally, she found them disturbing. Especially when they were in large groups zig-zagging over her head. They were always so erratic. She thought she might like them more if they flew in some sort of formation.

“There must be a cave nearby,” said Daniel. “Assuming they live in caves.”

It was hard not to assume that alien animals acted the same as their Earth counterparts. They’d been fooled enough times to know better. They’d encountered horses that walked on two legs, chickens that hunted in packs and took down large mammals, and Colonel O’Neill still claimed some goats had pointed and laughed at his jokes once.

The bats cleared from the sky while they were eating dinner.

Colonel O’Neill was beside her, leaning back on his elbows. “Hey, Carter,” he said. “What did you bring for dessert?”

“Nothing.”

“Quit lying, Sam.”

Teal’c just looked at her.

“Fine.” She dug to the bottom of her rucksack until she felt the crinkly plastic bag. “Here,” she said, handing the bag to Colonel O’Neill.

“Tiny peanut butter cups,” he said. “My favorite.”

“Mine also,” added Teal’c. Sam smiled. All candy was Teal’c’s favorite.

Colonel O’Neill opened the bag and started handing out the little foil-wrapped morsels of goodness. Sam was separating hers from the paper cup when the bats returned.

They came from the trees, dropping like winged rocks and latching on to the candy.

She screamed. "Oh my god. They have little faces." Not cute, fuzzy fox faces. These things had scary old human faces.

And they were after the peanut butter cups.

Teal’c was on his feet, threatening the bats with his staff weapon, but they were too small and fast to shoot.

"Throw them out!" Daniel was shouting. “Throw the candy away!”

Colonel O’Neill was yelling something about ninjas and gripping the bag of candy like he was going to fight to the death to keep it. She wrenched it from his tightly clenched fist and tossed it as far away as she could. The bats followed, grabbing each piece and flying back to the trees.

*****

“I can’t believe that just happened,” she said. They were sitting in the tent, trying to recover from the loss of their peanut butter cups. Sam had a bag of Hershey’s Kisses in her pack but she wasn’t willing to risk opening them.

Daniel had his sleeping bag wrapped around his shoulders. “Yeah,” he said. “That was the most disturbing thing I’ve seen all year.”

“I have encountered these creatures before,” said Teal’c. “They are voracious and difficult to kill.”

“We could have defeated them with ninjas,” Colonel O’Neill said. He was sitting next to her, close enough that she could tell he was serious even in the dim light of their lantern. He caught her looking at him like she was concerned for his sanity. “What?” he said. “Ninjas would totally win against bat-people.”

Sam just shook her head.

It really was going to be a long mission.


End file.
